Thursday, January 19, 2006

Bin Laden transcript (partial) from Fox News

The following is a translation of the portion of the purported Usama bin Laden audiotape aired on the Al Jazeera network:

I propose a long-term truce with the U.S. military. God has prevented us from lying and betraying. You can give us this truce so we can build Iraq and Afghanistan that you have destroyed.

Truce? What if we would rather have you dead? Your probably not going to get a truce, namely because we are stomping you like the rats you are and the fact that your probably already dead. Tape recordings does not a living man make.

This will prevent the loss of millions of dollars, billions of dollars that go to corrupt businessmen in the United States.

Still pissy that your money got frozen?

Our situation is getting better and better and your situation is getting worse and worse.

Prove it.

But I wanted to talk to you because of the lies that have been given to you by your President Bush when he commented on the results of the opinion polls in your country that showed the majority was for the pull out of U.S. forces in Iraq.

Uh, Dude, that was Ted Kennedy or one of the other demonrats.

You [Bush] opposed this opinion by saying a pull out of U.S. forces would send the wrong message and that it is better to fight them in their land than they fight us in our land.

A statement I agree with. It IS better to fight on your enemies land than on your own.

I have an answer for this. I'm saying that the war in Iraq is lit up like crazy and the operations are estimated in our favor in Afghanistan and the number of dead and injured on your side is greater and greater, in addition to material losses.

I have a better answer. Surrender now and we will let you keep your goat.

The result of the opinion polls are wise and Bush must follow it. Iraq has now become a point of attraction to all qualified people the mujahadeen who by the grace of God were able to infiltrate all the security measures that were taken by Coalition forces. And as proof to that: The bombings that you saw in many important capitals of the world.

My opinion is to erase islam from the face of the earth, it is wise and should be done forthwith.

The reason why we didn't have any such an operation in the United States is not because of security difficulties; the operation will take place and you will see such operations by the grace of God and by the will of God.

Riiigggghhttt. And God is going to award me rulership of the universe tomorrow.

So you see how Bush was misleading people. The opinion polls are for the pull out and it's important that opinion polls say the people didn't want to fight the Muslims in their land and they didn't want the Muslims to fight them in their land.

Not all the opinion polls are for a pullout, unless of course there are no more people shooting at ours. Oh, and we have your head on a stick.

I propose a long-term truce that will give the two sides stability and security.

Roughly translated this means "Stop killing us!"

And this is the most important, most diligent solution as a result of which there will be no losses.

Again, "Stop killing us!"


Blogger Wes said...

How kindly do you think Bin Laden would take "opinion polls" in the Middle East? His people aren't allowed opinions that conflict with his fucked up worldview (Islamofacism), but all of a sudden (when he's getting his ass kicked in a Huge way), the opinions of *eevil* Americans matter?!

Yep. He's well and truly screwed!

3:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure whose half is funnier, yours or his :-D

10:28 AM  
Blogger Deathknyte said...

Sad part is, I dont know either.

6:02 PM  

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